the court report, part 5

Sent: July 27, 2004 @ 9:12 p.m.

Wow, it's been a long time since I last sent out a mass email. Work
hasn't been that much busier, but Holly, the ads girl, has been working
longer and I've been trying to get home earlier to sleep more.

Anyways, since my last email, I took pictures at my first car wreck and
first fire. No one was injured at either scene, luckily. A woman drove
her SUV off the side of the road into a rice paddy, and a man put out
his cigarette by his house and his house caught on fire. On the subject
of cigarettes, a couple weeks ago a woman was lugging a can of gas to
her car, and it sloshed all over her. Because it was a really hot day,
she decided to take a break and light a cigarette. Boom. It's like the
Darwin Awards, but she's still alive.

Yesterday, I met the crankiest woman EVER. I had to take her picture
for this dialysis story that I'm working on, and my encounters with her
went something like this:

Encounter 1: Two weeks ago, I left a message with her husband, and he
told me to call back Monday morning at 10:30. In normal people's time,
this means sometime around 10:30. On Monday, I walked into the office
at 10:37 planning on calling her, but instead, she had called the office
and started yelling at me for not calling her exactly at 10:30. And
while I have nothing against old people, I just know that she's got
nothing else better to do than sit around and wait by the phone. But
that was just the beginning...

Encounter 2: I called her yesterday, and the first thing she says when
she picks up the phone is, "What are you selling because we're not
buying." Then she gives me directions on how to reach her house (which
by the way, is in a town with a total population of 13), and then
proceeds to ask, "Are you Asian? Because I saw your picture in the
paper and thought you looked Chinese or Japanese especially because your
last name is Y-e-i-something or rather."

Encounter 3: She had told me to stop by at her house "sometime after
4:00." I had to do another assignment, but I called her at around 5:00
to let her know I was heading over.
M---: What's the matter with you?
Me: Excuse me?
M---: Why aren't you here yet?
Me: You said any time after 4:00.
M---: I didn't mean midnight!
Me: (Thinking, it's not midnight...) I was just calling to say that
I was planning on coming over if it's not too late, and you did say any
time after 4:00.
M---: Well, when I said any time after 4:00, I thought you
would come by at 4:00.

Encounter 4: It took me about half and hour to get to her house, which
is the normal driving time. When I got there, the first thing she says
to me is, "Finally you got here. You're slower than cold tar."

She made me sit down and chat with her, when I really wanted to leave.
But she started talking about the old office and how the dogs, Barney
and Kafka used to stay in the back room (presumably because of space
reasons). Then she wanted to know whether they stayed at the new
office. I was trying to explain to her that because the office is so
big, Kafka just lies on the floor wherever he wants. She interrupted me
after I said how the office is big and goes very impatiently, "I know, I
know, I've been there before." Geez, what a cranky b----. It's like
Tim said, "Her husband should get a Purple Heart for putting up with
her."

With this trend of women being mean to me, the administrator at Gambro
Health care (a dialysis center) hung up on me for no reason. I had
asked her before about patient statistics last week, and she referred me
to Network 17, some renal organization. I went to their website, and
they had published listings of dialysis centers in North California and
the number of patients at each one. The data only went until 2002, but
because it was public information I figured that it was fair game to ask
individual dialysis centers for the updated information. When I called
back today, she says in a huffy voice, "You know, someone called last
week asking for the same information, and I told them to go to Network
17." When I explained that I had been to the Network 17 website and had
found past information, she says, "Well, you can call our corporate
office. I don't feel comfortable giving out this information over the
phone." And then she hung up before I could get a word in edgewise.
Bah. But as rudely as I was treated, it's kind of fun pestering these
people for information they're just too high and mighty to give out.

Wow, this is a really long email, so I think I'll stop right here. Hope
everyone is doing well back home.

-c